bang that head that doesn't bang!

METALHEADS
the good, the bad and the evil
D: Bill Zebub 2008

Written, directed, produced, edited, starring and probably catered by as well, Bill Zebub comes on like a yankee metal slightly nuts version of comedian Bill Bailey at times but damn he’s good at it.
This film is a slice of the life of a couple of metal head schmucks who do nothing much at all but get wasted, dream about making money, look at girls, take trips, drink, look at girls, get wasted… in short, this is pretty much what most of us are doing.
Our main men, Bill and Rich are a coupla losers who need to grow up but don’t seem in any hurry to do that. Bill’s girlfriend Elaine is constantly giving him shit cos he’s got a little dick, no car and no future. In fact she’s even thinking that maybe she should “date outside of metal.” That’s how desperate she is! Rich, well he’s just there for the ride, that dependable mate with a car and some sort of common sense or at least more sense than Bill anyway. You know the guy, he’s at the bar now buying you a beer cos you’re short of cash and he’ll drop you off home later and he’s always around to get drunk with you and play some air guitar… that guy. So we’ve got Bill and Rich and Elaine. Bill keeps finding money laying around, things just don’t go anywhere but you’ll recognise every sentence and every person and then when Elaine kisses Rich cos she thinks that maybe he’s not a bad guy, well then things go a bit haywire but you sort of knew it would happen cos it did just Saturday at the bar didn’t it and you still aren’t sure what you’re going to say to your mate when you see him next. Bill ends up tangled with a mad metal head, who tells him he’s been “living with the volume turned down.” and now it’s time to get things rolling. It’s party time now, with naked girls, light bondage, stealing, drinking, revenge and Bill looking well out of his depth.
Meanwhile Elaine is fantasizing about a muscle bound, well groomed metal head with a car and a job but though her hand is getting right into it her heart belongs to that idiot Bill. Billy boy soon realizes that he doesn’t need the volume turned up that loud and goes back to his friends but it just ain’t gonna be a happy ending. There’s a real nasty, misogynistic sting in the tail of this movie that at first sort of disturbed me but I realized that it had to be there. If we’re honest, the whole metal scene is in general, bloketown. It is misogynistic, it is sexist, it is dumber than a box of politicians – that’s why we like it. We want naked women and beer, loud music, perennial adolescence and a shit hot guitar solo. Bill recognizes that but he’s not afraid to just make us just a touch uncomfortable about it too. There’s some great laughs in this film, there’s those moments where you go, shit, that’s me! There’s a lot of very recognizable people and ideas and actions and you’ll be sitting there shaking your head thinking “what a goose!” before you then realise that you’ve done exactly the same thing, or your mate has or the guy who plays in that band that you see every weekend has… For a low budget, labour of love, one man band this is pretty damn good. No one’s a great actor but there’s a certain natural feel to the whole flick and I get the feeling there was a lot of improvising as well. The girls are hot looking, the boys are dweebs, the soundtrack rocks… this is metal, this is the real world as lame as that world may be at times. No super heroes, no government conspiracies, no zombies, no future… I can’t recommend this dumb ass, no nothing, going nowhere movie high enough. Forget Hollywood, the low budget/no budget scene is where it’s all happening now.

10 out of 10.