Friday, June 5, 2015

Insect Armaggedon!

TICKS

D: Tony Randel 1993

 Oh, flashbacks to my youth – a bunch o’ dumbshit city kids – little rich girl, muscle boy, street smart black, nerdy nervous whitebread etc are off to camp in the woods where something lurks.  No, not a psychopathic serial killing legend from years gone by, instead its ticks, fist sized, bloodsucking ticks!  See, Clint Howard (bow before the legend that is he) and a mate have a dope plantation and the growth hormone they’re using on their mull works on the ticks too!  Big fucking ugly jelly bellied slobbering ticks start showing up but no one seems to notice.  


Not nearly enough bodies in this, hell most of the kids escape but there was enough dumb shit, walking corpses, exploding ticks, Clint getting’ fucked up, hallucinations and general b-grade clichés to keep me happy.  (of course the beer helped – or was it the mull?)  No tit though!! Curse the PC nineties – violence and eco-disaster is fine but sex is out!!!??? No wonder everyone is going back to the 80s.  at least there were tits back then. (although most of you kids were probably still suckin’ on yer mummy’s udders)