Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Vampire Babe Vs The Mummy!

BLOOD SCARAB

D: Donald F Glut 2008

A b-grade throwback to the days of monster vs monster that reminds me at times of the later, trashy Hammer Horror flicks this movie pits the legendary Elizabeth Bathory (played with relish by Monique T. Parent) against a shambling mummy that looks suspiciously like Jason’s dead corpse (something to do with JC Beuchler’s F13 pt7 fx me thinks) in that hotspot of monster madness – California! (where else would you go if you can’t be in sunlight?)  


Bathory has survived all these centuries because she wed her Transylvanian neighbour, one Count Dracula but after the Count stays out too late perving at terrible actresses with great hooters and is reduced to dust, she craves the ability to be out sucking blood 24/7.  Trusty servant Renfield (Del Howison doing a corker job) finds the clue, an ancient Egyptian spell that will give her that power.  She needs a mummy though and luckily there’s one in town.  Not that it’s doing much this time around, though it has been active in movies past (Mummy’s Kiss), this time it’s a waiting game, because after all, a mummy topless is not that attractive but the three gals that Bathory needs to invoke the spell are.  And the Egyptian goddess Hathor and her dancing sidekicks are pretty easy on the eye too.  After getting her way and discovering that she can now work on her tan (she takes her kit off to prove it) Bathory decides she no longer needs Hathor but the Egyptian bitch won’t take that lying down so of course, it’s mummy vs vampire in an old school Universal movies moment.  I won’t give away the ending but I will say that this is more Abbot and Costello than Freddy V Jason.  

Still, this is a fun movie.  Glut has no illusions of grandeur, he knows he’s making a b-grade flick and he’s having fun with it.  Parent and Howison are great, Howison especially and that makes up for the lack of acting skill in the babes, but hell they get their kit off, they look good and they’re vamps – who cares if they can’t act?
What you’ve got here is a labour of love that is a good b-grade, second feature, drive-in movie (if we still had drive-ins) and I for one think it’s great that Glut still has that passion.  On a sad note this film was dedicated to the late great Jillian (Naked Fist) Kessner.  Now there’s a lost classic!

rubber ducky you're the one, you make bathtime so much fun